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December 2008 
Truth Hides Love
Posted on Dec 29th, 2008
by 
Alison
Alison
Truth is torn between debaters. It's Doubted. Fought over. Intellectualized. It's the one and only solid force that is unwavering, but strangely enough, never proven. It is a constant immersed in battles, indefinable but always innately known.
My most recent thought: truth doesn't matter in the case of love.
A few months ago I had a revelation. It parked itself right in the middle of everything when my mind was busy arguing with my heart. In the most random of ways, the universe spun a smile at me. The cosmic vender's coat unbuttoned for a split fleeting moment to let me peek at something new and sweet and pocketed.
I realized that truth is irrelevant. A person should live as though they already know the truth, and it is then- and only then- they can live a profound and genuine expression of love.
I had been making excuses for myself; I just wanted to know and live by the truth, but that was simply blindness in a kind form. I so greatly wanted to know what the truth was, in terms of religion, spirituality, consciousness, and so forth, that I lost sight of what life meant. A person should not need to know the reason for their love in order to live by it. The battle over truth had been waging uncontrolled in my soul, and while it is not wrong to question such things, I had let the daily turmoil turn into a full blown soul quake, crippling my ability to live in love.
So I want to spread love; that's always been what I've wanted. That's obviously my purpose here, but in order to do that, I've felt somehow that I needed to establish my belief of what is true, that is, what my baseline motivation is. Am I going to love in the name of Jesus? What if that is not the truth? I couldn't surely express love under the alias of an untruth, so I felt as though unless I identified the exact truth it operated under, I couldn't love at all. And it turned into an endless cycle. Until I realized, it doesn't at all matter why I express love, but rather that I do, and passionately. But I thought, "Well, someday after having done an adequate amount of research, I shall decide what the truth is, and then I can finally start living in love. I will then have a firm foundation upon which to love." My epiphany came in the form of this: truth does not lead to love; however, conversely, it is love that leads to truth. I may never know for sure what the ultimate truth is, but now I am set free from constantly waiting for that which will always be one step ahead of me.
So although my soul-searching has been enlightening, in the sense that I know about the different truths people choose to debate, I am now ultimately unbound from the obsessive need to decide which is the holiest. Although I will not ever satisfy nor stunt myself intellectually, the need to love is much greater than the need to constantly be at war with myself; as I set out to do nothing but love, I'm so sure the truest truth will reveal itself in time. And if it doesn't, maybe the truest truth is love itself.
I can finally see that truth can never be realized by ping-pong reasoning and inward battles, but by opening up to love's mercy. Now, my quest is not for truth, but for love. I am not seeking the destination, but cherishing the journey. Isn't that what life is, anyhow? It's just a journey calling to be a little less analyzed and a little more loved.
My most recent thought: truth doesn't matter in the case of love.
A few months ago I had a revelation. It parked itself right in the middle of everything when my mind was busy arguing with my heart. In the most random of ways, the universe spun a smile at me. The cosmic vender's coat unbuttoned for a split fleeting moment to let me peek at something new and sweet and pocketed.
I realized that truth is irrelevant. A person should live as though they already know the truth, and it is then- and only then- they can live a profound and genuine expression of love.
I had been making excuses for myself; I just wanted to know and live by the truth, but that was simply blindness in a kind form. I so greatly wanted to know what the truth was, in terms of religion, spirituality, consciousness, and so forth, that I lost sight of what life meant. A person should not need to know the reason for their love in order to live by it. The battle over truth had been waging uncontrolled in my soul, and while it is not wrong to question such things, I had let the daily turmoil turn into a full blown soul quake, crippling my ability to live in love.
So I want to spread love; that's always been what I've wanted. That's obviously my purpose here, but in order to do that, I've felt somehow that I needed to establish my belief of what is true, that is, what my baseline motivation is. Am I going to love in the name of Jesus? What if that is not the truth? I couldn't surely express love under the alias of an untruth, so I felt as though unless I identified the exact truth it operated under, I couldn't love at all. And it turned into an endless cycle. Until I realized, it doesn't at all matter why I express love, but rather that I do, and passionately. But I thought, "Well, someday after having done an adequate amount of research, I shall decide what the truth is, and then I can finally start living in love. I will then have a firm foundation upon which to love." My epiphany came in the form of this: truth does not lead to love; however, conversely, it is love that leads to truth. I may never know for sure what the ultimate truth is, but now I am set free from constantly waiting for that which will always be one step ahead of me.
So although my soul-searching has been enlightening, in the sense that I know about the different truths people choose to debate, I am now ultimately unbound from the obsessive need to decide which is the holiest. Although I will not ever satisfy nor stunt myself intellectually, the need to love is much greater than the need to constantly be at war with myself; as I set out to do nothing but love, I'm so sure the truest truth will reveal itself in time. And if it doesn't, maybe the truest truth is love itself.
I can finally see that truth can never be realized by ping-pong reasoning and inward battles, but by opening up to love's mercy. Now, my quest is not for truth, but for love. I am not seeking the destination, but cherishing the journey. Isn't that what life is, anyhow? It's just a journey calling to be a little less analyzed and a little more loved.
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